Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
