holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
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There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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