Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
