The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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