Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
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Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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