I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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