my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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