I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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