he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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