I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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