He uses pillows to masturbate.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
