Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
