I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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