Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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