I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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