We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize