Do you still have your period?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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