WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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