If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
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