I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize