Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
