Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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