Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
