Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
