these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize