Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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