can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
