White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
