If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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