we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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