how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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