that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
