The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
