I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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