Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
