I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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