so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
