just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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