How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
