I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
