Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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