3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i now understand why vodka
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
