i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dude. I can hear the air.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
