The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
