some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So. Much. Porn.
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