ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
