yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
