so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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