I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize