I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
