? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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