I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
a search helicopter?!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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