I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
