i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
