Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
