did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
