My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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