I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
