He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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