I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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