i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
