What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize