um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
