Do vagina's smell?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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