Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize