i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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