i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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