I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
