I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
