i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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