The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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