Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
